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Sunday, 8 November 2015

DnD: Escape Room


After half an hour of deliberation, the posse decided to pick pocket the bandits they just killed. One, they left to look like he was sleeping. The others, they stuffed into barrels, then left an artistic rat mess behind to confuse anyone who might come in. They leave the cellar by the same way they arrived, only to find a group of five bandits demanding to know who has killed their compatriots. The villagers kindly do not point out the heroes who give themselves away anyway since some of them are wearing the red capes they stole. The leader of the group draws his sword and orders another to go get back up, but, thinking quickly, Dweezil casts a spell, commanding the leader to vomit (not ejaculate).

Wisely, the group decides to run. Asher tosses Celkini over his shoulder and runs off. Celkini manages to get off a drunken blowgun Hail of Thorns that hurts four of the five attackers. Dweezil runs between some houses, followed by Xavros who casts heroism on Dweezil (*boop*) and everyone sings Nickelback and Mariah Carey songs as accompaniment. Dweezil manages to headshot a passing ruffian. Fueled once more by her bloodlust, Celkini flails in Asher's arms, demanding to be let down so that she can fight. He agrees and both turn to face their pursuers. A skirmish ensues and Asher is hurt, but not badly. Between the two of them, with Dweezil supporting from a distance and Xavros making your mamma jokes from a distance, they dispatch the baddies, remove the cloaks, then dash back to the inn. There is brief consideration over killing the young boy Carp because we can't leave any witnesses, yo.

There, the innkeeper quietly thanks them for facing down the red caped bad guys and offers them free room and board. Xavros tips him with a recently stolen gold piece and the group head upstairs with hopes to finally get some rest so that they can function on more than just one HP. But before they can discuss further plans, they hear a crash and a loud voice demands of the innkeeper the identities of the punks who have attacked his men...


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